Posted July 2, 2015 11:23 AM by

SCOTUS marriage decision —in Haiku…

 

(CUSA) – If you don’t have time to read the entire SCOTUS opinion here is the poetic shorthand of the the majority opinion and the dissents.

 

It comes to us from the blog of Timothy McSweeney (mcsweeneysnet) and was written by Daniela Lapidous. —Ed.

 

 

THE SCOTUS MARRIAGE DECISION, IN HAIKU
by DANIELA LAPIDOUS

Roberts’ dissent:

I support you all
No, really, I do, but this
Isn’t our problem.

Alito’s dissent:

“Happiness is not
the point of marriage, fools. It’s
BABIES,” he whispered.

Thomas’ dissent:

“Liberty” – this word,
I do not think Locke means what
You think it means. Sigh.

Scalia’s dissent:

You’re not a poet,
Kennedy. And by the way,
Democracy’s dead.

Kennedy’s majority decision:

Hark! Love is love, and
love is love is love is love.
It is so ordered.

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