Sex-obsessed liberals killing off passion…
My pearl clutching reached its climax with the release of the film, 50 Shades of Grey. My one-person boycott of said film was epic but in the interests of research I forced myself to watch it at the weekend via rental online. Let me all save you £3.50; this film really is as bad as I thought.
My main objection was the filth. And it is filth but it is also rubbish. Rarely, have I watched a film that featured so much nudity and sex that was so very unsexy.
The big problem is that there is zero chemistry between the characters. In fact, I doubt they even like each other. Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, played by Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson, are wooden and uninspiring.
Perhaps this is a problem when the ‘beautiful people’ get together. They are too busy trying to figure out which of them is the fairest of all that they forget to be attracted to each other – they are rivals not lovers. But then Julia Roberts and Richard Gere managed it in Pretty Woman so why not this pair?
Ironically, for a film that revolves around a sex contract and contains much nudity it is incredibly unsexy. All I can say is that they must have had to pay Dakota Johnson a bucket load of cash for getting her kit off in front of so many cameramen. No doubt all established actresses stayed a million miles away from this garbage for fear of being typecast. Sadly this is the future that awaits Dakota Johnson.
Which brings us to this ludicrous issue of the sex contract. What happens when it is breached – will they sue each other? Why not hire some lawyers to trash it out? Sadly sex contracts are not confined to the fantasy world of Hollywood. In fact the sex contract is here to stay according to this report.
In the USA, the Affirmative Consent Project is instructing college students to take a picture with a contract before they have sex with each other just to make absolutely sure both parties are officially consenting. If no camera is available, students are encouraged to fill out the form on the back of the contract which states, “On this date [fill in the blank], we agree to have consensual sex with one another”, followed by a space for students’ printed names and signatures. Kinky.
So this is where the liberals have brought us. In the absence of social convention to regulate behaviour it follows, of course, that we must hire the lawyers and issue the sex contract. The reality is that the sex-obsessed liberals are potent passion killers. But then we should expect nothing else.
Laura is Co-Editor of The UK Conservative Woman. Reprinted with permission.